i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
