maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize