You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
