if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pants 0. Shit 1.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
