I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
