You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
