Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
