Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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