I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize