They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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