At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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