and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
