I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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