We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
