do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
