My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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