I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
