I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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