Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its not stalking. its research.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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