Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize