laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize