I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
