sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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