I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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