I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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