You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am spending my child support on dildos
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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