one might say we're banned from that church
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
