ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
