Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
