Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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