can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
