My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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