Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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