My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
