I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
