the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
