Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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