i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
