So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
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