Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have aggressive nipples.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize