People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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