apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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