The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
