He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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