I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
