Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
