look no pants
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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