I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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