I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
