I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
