you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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