you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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