im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
