Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
