dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
