Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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