my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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