im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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