No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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