She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
